Gessgessduss is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, competent elephant.

Gessgessduss created the Sol system nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gessgessduss, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Gessgessduss, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Gessgessduss' most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Gessgessduss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at bridges at midnight.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gessgessduss.

3. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

4. Hide from red voles for they are unholy.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.