Vagarphat is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, unselfish dingo.

Vagarphat created the planet Venus nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagarphat, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vagarphat, it will turn you into a snail.

Vagarphat's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Vagarphat's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Shun those given to cruelty.

5. Always obey Vagarphat's priests.