Zodvonjan is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, cheerful donkey.

Zodvonjan created water three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zodvonjan, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Zodvonjan, she will remove you from existence.

Zodvonjan's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Zodvonjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never laugh in the presence of elders.

4. Run away if eight pigs approach from the west.

5. Never write about bacteria.