Parkbamvoncud is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, unthoughtful dugong.

Parkbamvoncud created humanity eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Parkbamvoncud, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Parkbamvoncud, she will strike you with lightening.

Parkbamvoncud's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Parkbamvoncud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching silver.

3. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Parkbamvoncud on top of all buildings.

4. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

5. Retreat if seven hamsters approach from the south.