Jonkinvabnatcep is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, sapient toad.

Jonkinvabnatcep created snails six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonkinvabnatcep, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Jonkinvabnatcep, she will be very unhappy.

Jonkinvabnatcep's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Jonkinvabnatcep's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about stars.

2. Always share garlic with strangers, but never with tortoises.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Jonkinvabnatcep in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not sing in public.