Ponzimfumcad Larpsiszig is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, humorless camel.

Ponzimfumcad Larpsiszig created a top quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ponzimfumcad Larpsiszig, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Ponzimfumcad Larpsiszig, it will strike you with lightening.

Ponzimfumcad Larpsiszig's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Ponzimfumcad Larpsiszig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not record names concerning asteroids.

2. Do not take Ponzimfumcad Larpsiszig's name in vain.

3. Retreat if six monkeys approach from the south.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always act with obedience.