Fomfatsig is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, egotistical dog.

Fomfatsig created light three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fomfatsig, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fomfatsig, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Fomfatsig's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Fomfatsig's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat cucumbers on fasting days.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

5. Always stare at clouds.