Nillbonkteenrangemstafhitrul is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, contented tortoise.

Nillbonkteenrangemstafhitrul created water six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nillbonkteenrangemstafhitrul, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Nillbonkteenrangemstafhitrul, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Nillbonkteenrangemstafhitrul's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Nillbonkteenrangemstafhitrul's Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain purity during days of mourning.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Never speak aloud of names.

5. Always pray immersed in water.