Yoggilmis is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, narcissistic crow.

Yoggilmis created light six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yoggilmis, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Yoggilmis, it will destroy your home solar system.

Yoggilmis' most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Yoggilmis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not take Yoggilmis' name in vain.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching silicon.

4. Never record names.

5. Do not place gooseberries upon stone.