Cusstailmanvad Latdamgar is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, duplicitous otter.

Cusstailmanvad Latdamgar created a strange quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cusstailmanvad Latdamgar, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cusstailmanvad Latdamgar, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Cusstailmanvad Latdamgar's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Cusstailmanvad Latdamgar's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never travel toward the north during spring.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never sprint in the presence of elders.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.