Lintipcin is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, bad-tempered unicorn.

Lintipcin created time and space eight million years ago.

If you believe in Lintipcin, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Lintipcin, it will be very sad.

Lintipcin's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Lintipcin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare rice while filled with fear.

2. Do not consume figs at dawn.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Lintipcin.

4. Do not step barefoot upon mauve earth.

5. Never eat bark.