Gedcapjen is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unsympathetic raccoon.

Gedcapjen created the universe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gedcapjen, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gedcapjen, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Gedcapjen's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Gedcapjen's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never talk about special relativity near tortoises while wearing yellow scarves and balancing three silver spheres on your head.

3. Never speak the names of moons aloud.

4. Do not step barefoot upon black earth.

5. Do not travel during summer.