Kadwottip is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, bad-tempered mole.

Kadwottip created a top quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kadwottip, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kadwottip, she will turn you into a mole.

Kadwottip's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Kadwottip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at wells at midday.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Shun those given to greed.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Never write about moons.