Mapwipcap is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, narcissistic crane.

Mapwipcap created matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Mapwipcap, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Mapwipcap, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Mapwipcap's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Mapwipcap's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine carbon sculptures of Mapwipcap on top of important buildings.

2. Never gather four frogs in one place.

3. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

4. Never whisper while facing west.

5. Always obey Mapwipcap's priests.