Arnstiklibraw is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, duplicitous chinchilla.

Arnstiklibraw created vertebrates eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arnstiklibraw, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Arnstiklibraw, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Arnstiklibraw's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Arnstiklibraw's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your legs with fawn.

2. Do not count beyond three during ceremonies.

3. Never eat apples.

4. Do not fashion tools from silicon.

5. Never feed cucumbers to hamsters while wearing magenta shoes.