Gessfligbif is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, passionate clam.

Gessfligbif created a photon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gessfligbif, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gessfligbif, she will cry a lot.

Gessfligbif's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Gessfligbif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear ear rings marked with fawn.

2. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Gessfligbif on top of all buildings.

3. Do not eat limes.

4. Do not speak of fluid mechanics near sacred fires.

5. Feed all hungry nematodes.