Fotlogwigyam is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, boastful squid.

Fotlogwigyam created parasitic wasps four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fotlogwigyam, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fotlogwigyam, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Fotlogwigyam's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Fotlogwigyam's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into white rooms.

2. Do not dye your hair purple.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Erect five zinc sculptures of Fotlogwigyam on top of important buildings.

5. Always share wheat with strangers, but never with geese.