Hanquafcad Affigced Yakfossgep is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, unthinking donkey.

Hanquafcad Affigced Yakfossgep created silver four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hanquafcad Affigced Yakfossgep, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Hanquafcad Affigced Yakfossgep, she will destroy your favourite star.

Hanquafcad Affigced Yakfossgep's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Hanquafcad Affigced Yakfossgep's Holy Commandments

1. Always help birds.

2. Always remove shirts before entering holy places.

3. Hanquafcad Affigced Yakfossgep must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hanquafcad Affigced Yakfossgep.

5. Never mark doors with purple.