Vadpoptif is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, omnipotent wolf.

Vadpoptif created Europe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Vadpoptif, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vadpoptif, she will turn you into a worm.

Vadpoptif's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Vadpoptif's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

5. Hide from gray sheep for they are unholy.