Ponyarlgupzedyikbepsawster is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, self-confident squirrel.

Ponyarlgupzedyikbepsawster created an up quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Ponyarlgupzedyikbepsawster, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ponyarlgupzedyikbepsawster, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Ponyarlgupzedyikbepsawster's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Ponyarlgupzedyikbepsawster's Holy Commandments

1. Do not contemplate the strong nuclear force during the night.

2. Do not step barefoot upon mauve earth.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always remove boots before touching silver.

5. Respect your elders.