Kikartsis is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, staggering capybara.

Kikartsis created the Large Magellanic Cloud two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kikartsis, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Kikartsis, he will turn you into a slug.

Kikartsis' most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Kikartsis' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Always count to five before sleeping.

3. Put Kikartsis first in all things.

4. Do not wear ear rings marked with magenta.

5. Do not name children after snails.