Binbatjam is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, humorless gerbil.

Binbatjam created the planet Jupiter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Binbatjam, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Binbatjam, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Binbatjam's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Binbatjam's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from mauve tapirs for they are unholy.

2. Never remain prostrate at midday.

3. Never talk about galaxies.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.