Barn Sawventof Fonparkgut is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, loving hare.

Barn Sawventof Fonparkgut created the solar system four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Barn Sawventof Fonparkgut, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Barn Sawventof Fonparkgut, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Barn Sawventof Fonparkgut's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Barn Sawventof Fonparkgut's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about eukaryotes.

2. Worship no other gods but Barn Sawventof Fonparkgut.

3. Do not prepare limes while wearing shorts.

4. Always remove corsets before entering holy places.

5. Always take life seriously.