Gebmonxembep is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, resourceful porpoise.

Gebmonxembep created the Large Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gebmonxembep, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gebmonxembep, he will turn you into a plant.

Gebmonxembep's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Gebmonxembep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Feed all hungry horses.

3. You must love Gebmonxembep.

4. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never stain your arms with brown.