Pogarmjen is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, loving mouse.

Pogarmjen created bats nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pogarmjen, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Pogarmjen, it will come to you in dreams.

Pogarmjen's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Pogarmjen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Pray only in shadows.

3. Always maintain purity during days of mourning.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Never remain standing at dusk.