Hapmobjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, smart weasel.

Hapmobjarn created the Sol system seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapmobjarn, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Hapmobjarn, it will not invite you to parties.

Hapmobjarn's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Hapmobjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear gray tights.

2. Do not wear boots marked with brown.

3. Never allow goats to witness sacred rites.

4. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

5. Do not commit murder.