Cemladquafyam Rotrakbeg is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, impressive porpoise.

Cemladquafyam Rotrakbeg created a Higgs boson two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cemladquafyam Rotrakbeg, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cemladquafyam Rotrakbeg, he will cry a lot.

Cemladquafyam Rotrakbeg's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Cemladquafyam Rotrakbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your face before prayer.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never gather seven ants in one place.

4. Do not consume cherries at dawn.

5. Do not speak of thermodynamics near sacred fires.