Japdid is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, intelligent seal.

Japdid created the planet Jupiter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Japdid, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Japdid, he will turn you into a sheep.

Japdid's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Japdid's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow swans to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Do not speak of quantum mechanics near sacred fires.

3. Do not shave your chest.

4. Do not wear carbon on your body.

5. Japdid must be the most important thing in your life.