Higgonhig is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, annoying swan.

Higgonhig created dark matter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Higgonhig, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Higgonhig, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Higgonhig's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Higgonhig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about black holes.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Birds are not to be trusted.

4. Run away from magenta grasshopers, for they are unholy.

5. Always wear plain rings during rituals.