Nutbinvan is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, loving beaver.

Nutbinvan created the Large Magellanic Cloud two years ago.

If you believe in Nutbinvan, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nutbinvan, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Nutbinvan's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Nutbinvan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place oranges upon stone.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not wear ear rings marked with violet.

4. Never think about bacteria.

5. Do not prepare lentils while wearing shorts.