Quillzanmap is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, benevolent bear.

Quillzanmap created a bottom quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Quillzanmap, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Quillzanmap, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Quillzanmap's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Quillzanmap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

2. Do not dye your hair brown.

3. You must never eat peas.

4. Never paint your back pink.

5. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Quillzanmap in the centre of the settlement.