Nultagyik is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, intelligent beaver.

Nultagyik created snails nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nultagyik, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nultagyik, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Nultagyik's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Nultagyik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place turnips upon stone.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always help sick monkeys.

4. Always treat mice with great respect.

5. Run away if six sharks approach from the north.