Bassrillbet is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, witless wombat.

Bassrillbet created the cosmos three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bassrillbet, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bassrillbet, she will turn you into a snail.

Bassrillbet's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Bassrillbet's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about moons.

2. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Do not kill sharks.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.