Yarlbitmon is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, calm slug.

Yarlbitmon created tapeworms six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlbitmon, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yarlbitmon, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Yarlbitmon's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Yarlbitmon's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of tortoises.

2. Whales are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Put Yarlbitmon first in all things.

4. Always wash your feet before prayer.

5. Do not speak sacred words in summer.