Bemdamnarl is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, tranquil crab.

Bemdamnarl created the Sunflower Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemdamnarl, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bemdamnarl, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Bemdamnarl's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Bemdamnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about oranges.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never whisper while facing east.

4. Bemdamnarl loves birds, so they must be honoured.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.