Dossfatfun is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, idiotic parrot.

Dossfatfun created tapeworms eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dossfatfun, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dossfatfun, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Dossfatfun's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Dossfatfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick dolphins.

2. Doves are not to be trusted.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

5. Do not take Dossfatfun's name in vain.