Hatarpbonk is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, effective goose.

Hatarpbonk created matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hatarpbonk, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Hatarpbonk, it will turn you into a puffin.

Hatarpbonk's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Hatarpbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never speak of fate in the presence of children.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.