Hivtikfet is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unthoughtful wolf.

Hivtikfet created gold eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hivtikfet, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Hivtikfet, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Hivtikfet's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Hivtikfet's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry cats.

2. Do not travel during autumn.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Hivtikfet.

4. Always obey Hivtikfet's priests.

5. Do not speak of electromagnetism near sacred fires.