Lidnulbass Cutvogmis Hanbinsom is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, unsympathetic penguin.

Lidnulbass Cutvogmis Hanbinsom created snails six billion years ago.

If you believe in Lidnulbass Cutvogmis Hanbinsom, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Lidnulbass Cutvogmis Hanbinsom, it will turn you into a sheep.

Lidnulbass Cutvogmis Hanbinsom's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Lidnulbass Cutvogmis Hanbinsom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of the strong nuclear force near sacred fires.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not keep eight frogs in a large pit.

4. Never paint your neck turquoise.

5. Never write about archaea.