Bopmigxem is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, able badger.

Bopmigxem created dark energy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bopmigxem, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bopmigxem, he will turn you into a tree.

Bopmigxem's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Bopmigxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

2. Never pray while filled with anger.

3. Run away from indigo cats, for they are unholy.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never think ill of sick ants.