Pib Satbuswee is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, generous crab.

Pib Satbuswee created Asia five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pib Satbuswee, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Pib Satbuswee, he will turn you into a mole.

Pib Satbuswee's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Pib Satbuswee's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

5. Do not make images of living things.