Catnurtfat is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, compassionate zebra.

Catnurtfat created the world four billion years ago.

If you believe in Catnurtfat, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Catnurtfat, she will destroy your home solar system.

Catnurtfat's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Catnurtfat's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear violet.

2. Never record numbers.

3. Always wear plain scarves during rituals.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.