Tanbudtimwig is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, prudent crow.

Tanbudtimwig created an up quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tanbudtimwig, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tanbudtimwig, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Tanbudtimwig's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Tanbudtimwig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Tanbudtimwig in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not bounce at mountains.

3. You must never eat cherries.

4. Do not wear silicon on your body.

5. Never look at comets.