Vigtimbarn is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, tranquil centaur.

Vigtimbarn created the Sun three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vigtimbarn, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vigtimbarn, he will turn you into a worm.

Vigtimbarn's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Vigtimbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with fear.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force near ducks while wearing orange tights and balancing three platinum spheres on your legs.

3. Always remove dresses before entering holy places.

4. Do not kill cats.

5. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.