Siddumdub is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, idiotic squirrel.

Siddumdub created the universe nine million years ago.

If you believe in Siddumdub, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Siddumdub, she will throw large rocks at you.

Siddumdub's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Siddumdub's Holy Commandments

1. Never carve symbols of planets into wood.

2. Tortoises are not to be trusted.

3. Feed all hungry gulls.

4. Run away if six seals approach from the west.

5. Do not wear shorts marked with mauve.