Xempin Fodfossyat is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, witless fly.

Xempin Fodfossyat created a strange quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Xempin Fodfossyat, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Xempin Fodfossyat, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Xempin Fodfossyat's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Xempin Fodfossyat's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather five moths near bridges.

2. Do not keep eight nematodes in a large pit.

3. Pray only in firelight.

4. Do not wear silver on your body.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.