Cutpinwiplag is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, duplicitous wombat.

Cutpinwiplag created life four years ago.

If you believe in Cutpinwiplag, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cutpinwiplag, he will turn you into a snail.

Cutpinwiplag's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Cutpinwiplag's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Cutpinwiplag.

2. Do not record secrets concerning planets.

3. Always act with obedience.

4. Never look at nebulae.

5. Do not resist order.