Joptardub is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, awesome coyote.

Joptardub created carbon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Joptardub, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Joptardub, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Joptardub's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Joptardub's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from bone.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never eat gooseberries on fasting days.

4. Never adorn your head with orange markings.

5. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.