Kadgovquag is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, selfish mink.

Kadgovquag created a bottom quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Kadgovquag, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kadgovquag, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Kadgovquag's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Kadgovquag's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of stars aloud.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching aluminium.

5. Never carve symbols of dwarf planets into wood.