Gebjabstan is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, loving ferret.

Gebjabstan created the Sol system six million years ago.

If you believe in Gebjabstan, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gebjabstan, it will remove you from existence.

Gebjabstan's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Gebjabstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow whales to witness sacred rites.

2. Never eat cherries.

3. Never think about dark energy.

4. Never chant in summer.

5. Always pray immersed in water.